Happy new year, all! Before you roll your eyes at the thoughts of yet another intimidating New Year's post, let me tell ya: Don't, because you're not here to read a list of "resolutions" presented in bullet points.
Matter of fact there isn't anything new here, just a continuation of what I've started.
New Year's resolutions are as old as time, but that doesn't mean they're reliably effective. Of course, that is completely dependent on each of us, but a lot of the time it only takes a day or two into January before the #resolutionfail hashtag starts trending on Twitter. I would almost bid my last euro in some industries counting on our failure; how many of you have signed up for a year-long gym contract, and how many of you have already screwed up your supposed schedule?! Those who haven't - yet - kudos to you for surviving the first week, only 51 more to go!
Health, wealth, relationships, and personal development are what I've noticed to be subjects most popular with New Year's resolutions. Yet these only stand a chance at being effective if they are set to be specific and measurable. Goals poorly formulated are goals easily forgotten. Dragging the worst of the past into the best of the future is another reason our resolutions fail. Confidently stepping into the future is only possible if you get closure on the past, especially those that went unregarded and unrewarded. Personally, 2016 put me through atrocious lows, and bewildering highs; introduced me to plenty of new incredible personalities, and rid of some incompetent figures. It has strengthened my ability to love all things and people worthy of my affection, & love them deep, and have given me a taste of what it's like to bud in my little garden of realised dreams. In all, the trick may be to get honest about what we wanted to happen, what actually happened, why it happened, and then ask yourself: What would you want to change - or indeed keep - in your approach of moving forward, this time 'round?
New year memes and new beginnings, fresh starts, empty notebooks and full pens - I love them all. You'd think I'd be seated at the driver's seat of the New Year's resolution bandwagon, yet I am not. Maybe I don't like the arbitrary January 1st date. Maybe I want to be intentional and resolute on my own timetable. A calendar full of "I'll do this!" and "Now it's time for that!" is too combative for me. I just don't feel like your resolutions have to be so bold and grand; shoot for the stars, most definitely, but do it for you and not for anybody else, because it's something you really want, not something you feel you should want. I am also a big fan of second chances and personal development, and I admire anyone who courageously takes on the daunting task of life-improvement. If New Year's resolutions are what provide you with hope and purpose, I would do nothing to deter that course of action and I wish you the best. But I like to live as if I'm not waiting for an approved time to start, well, living it. If I realise I need to commit to something new, or commit to something harder, it would be silly for me to wait until the turn of the new year. If it's important enough, I'm going to commit to it now - whether it's March, August, or November. This post is a reflection of that, when I penned a generalised statement of my journey through vulnerability and heartbreak, and how I rose from it.
If you already have everything pre-planned for 2017 in a bird's eye view, all the power to you, that's incredible.
I just know I don't.
That's not to say I have absolutely no idea where my 2017 is going, I'm just not quantifying exactly what it is I want to achieve. If I'm being completely honest, this is probably the scariest year of my life I'm entering yet. It is this year that's already started to echo screams in my head to have my sh*t together. Get through university, get a job, adult. The first semester of my final year that just passed had been a total carnage for me, and best believe all my fingers are crossed in hopes that I graduate in September. If not, it's not the end of the world. In light of that I am of course very excited for what this year has to bring me and In The Deetales, but at the same time terrified that it won't meet my inner expectations. There's not a doubt that no matter where it goes, and what it throws at me, I will make it work out for the best - it's the uncertainty of it all making it that bit unsettling.
Speaking of your dreams, goals, and aspirations out loud was always something I found a little scary, because it makes them tangible and real. Once you let someone else in, you're afraid to go back on those words for fear of disappointment and failure.
I would hope I am not alone in missing out on New Year's resolutions this year. I don't mean ones like giving up drinking (Just, no.) eating healthier, or waking up earlier; you and only you are in control of the fate of those resolutions so you truly choose to stick to them or stray. I mean the ones that are out of our full control. In any moment, I can live in love and walk in the certainty that the universe will carry me through today. I believe life and the universe itself will always have a more interesting adventure in mind for me than I could have ever planned for. I don't want to constrain my life to a scope limited by what I've gotten used to, by my own imagination, or any other factor for as long as I am able. Live and let be. Perhaps the resolution I need, is the acceptance of what I have no control over - to not worry about or dwell upon them. It might have taken me some time to realise this and practice it, but I am going to make sure that what I am in control of is heading in the direction I want, in my own terms, at my own time. Making decisions for the betterment of yourself more than the advantage of others is not a bad universal resolution in my book.
While there are plenty of things I'm hopeful for, I feel that my true resolution is to find my purpose and give my all to it, one day at a time. And I wish for you to find yours too, if you haven't already. People lose their way, when they lose their why. So how can you really expect yourself to progress and succeed in anything if you don't know what that thing is?
True success is attainable only by allowing the true self to shine through, and that is why I make no offers of sugar coated resolutions to make myself sound like I have everything together. Unlike some of you, I don't really have some grand vision for how my 2017 will play out. I just want it to be a successful one that gets me to a position I am comfortable in. Let this year bless me only with things I am deserving of. I don't desire for a "new me" this new year, but a better, happier me. And that's good enough.
Take the days as they come, accept them for what they are.
Keep yourself in good company, in the arms of those whose souls can build yours up.
Make small but relevant changes, and start new beneficial habits.
Small things aren't so small once they're done with the greatest intention.
But if everything don't get done this year, all is forgiven. Keep looking toward the summit, keep leaning in toward your goals. It doesn't matter how small the steps you take are, as long as you're taking steps forward. Be honest about where you are, and be kind to yourself along the way. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you'll fall behind; the race is long and in the end you'll see it's only with yourself. So, calm. You will get there; and you won't even need a special square on the calendar to give you permission.
2017: the year Dee continues her tales and thanks her lucky stars you're here to listen.
I hope the new year is good to you - wake up everyday with a calm, carefree heart, and take it on like a bad ass!
WHAT I'M WEARING:
Pull & Bear | Knitted body con dress
The SM Store | Parisian mini sling bag
*PrettyLittleThing | Premium Faux leather/suede/fur coat (NOW 50% OFF!)
*PrettyLittleThing | Faux suede thigh high boots
Like always, items marked with * indicate that they have been kindly gifted to me by the named brands.
I've also added a new section to my blog, SHOP MY INSTAGRAM, where you can directly shop items featured on my posts here and/or Instagram!
Thank you SO MUCH for all the love the past year.
& of course THANK YOU to @ayeshabeans for capturing these shots in the cold and just being the cutest accomplice ever.
Lots of love & luck in 2017,