I complain, I cry, I bitch, and I pour it up. I say things I don't mean, I talk about things I don't understand, I write things that are contradicting. But the thing about my pity party is - no one else shows up, I'm all on my own.
For the most part, I've realised that literally no one cares if you feel your life is falling apart, no one cares if you're crying yourself to sleep, no one cares if you're beating yourself up for your decisions and mistakes. Of course I know myself I genuinely care and try to be there for those I hold dear that might 'need' me, but I also know that that only does so much for them. At the end of the day, it's really up to us to dig ourselves out of the rut we're in.
It's no new news that not everyone is successful in self-love, in careers, with love, in relationships - someone you know, somewhere, is struggling. Getting where you want to be takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and it takes some longer than others. And that's okay.
Conversations I continue to have with incredibly strong and wise individuals I'm lucky enough to call my friends about personal struggles and overcoming them inspire me daily, and today I thought I'd gather my own thoughts and feelings on being stuck in a rut and how to get out of it in 10 quick points:
1. Express, don't repress. As you work your way through your rut, don't suppress your emotions. Instead, experience them fully. If you feel you need to cry or yell out in rage or invite yourself to my pity party, come on over! After you've let the emotion out, let it be. Don't dwell on it forever. Remember, each event we experience in our life is a learning opportunity. Find the lesson that's hidden in your current situation so you can move on.
3. You've got to work hard at some point. It might as well be now. If you have any hope of getting to where you dream of going, you're going to have to put in the work. You must pick yourself up and inspire yourself to get out of a not-so-good situation, and go after what you really want. Why not start now?
4. "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.." You have the strength to change your path. Even though it may take facing a fear or two, and possibly even hurting someone's feelings (unintentionally, of course), you must summon up the strength to break the cycle. Find your key and break the cycle (rut) you're in.
5. Sometimes you don't even realise you're in a rut until you get that feeling you should do something different. Trust your gut, always. Perhaps right now you need to rely less on the opinions of other or waiting for solid facts and instead, get yourself out of that rut by also listening to your intuition.
6. Ditch what you're taught. The beauty of being human is that each one of us is our own. How could anyone be happy following the exact same footsteps as anybody else when we are all so very different? Chances are, you probably have a different formula in answer to a slightly different equation to those who came before you, so find your own formula, and go through with that.
7. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Perhaps your rut is simply caused by the individuals you're choosing to mingle with. You probably already know who the culprits are, see #5.
8. Put your anxiety in perspective. Even though humans have come a long way, our brains still aren't very good at telling the difference between life-threatening danger and, well, any other kind of danger. When you're feeling anxious, step outside of your life and look at it objectively: What is your anxiety trying to tell you? What are the experiences that are painful for you? What can you do about it? When you understand your anxiety and understand that the end result usually isn't that severe, you can change the way you experience it all for the better.
9. In areas of giftedness, work on your strength. In areas of character, work on your weaknesses. When you shift your focus to work on areas of strength, you can identify what to delegate so you don't get bogged down in the wrong tasks. Take this message to mean that you should always be working on yourself, just make sure you're focusing on the right kind of 'work', otherwise you're only spinning your wheels and therefore - you guessed it - living in a rut.
10. Let's face it. If you're not in the right mindset or you fail to set any kind of goal, you're just asking to stay in that rut. You get what you get ready for. This is all about preparation, building a foundation through the choices you're making right now. Get ready for something great by acting (and doing!) as if you'll get there within arm's reach. You will surprise yourself.
You reached the end of this post, which means you probably want to be out of your rut one way or another. You've now surpassed he who's too foolish to recognise a faulty situation and do something about it. Let's take that to be Step 1.
Step 2, start digging.
WHAT I'M WEARING:
Basic black fitted jumper | similar here
Leopard belt | similar here
*Watch | JORD Wood watches
Denim jeans | Pull and Bear
Louis Vuitton | similar to Speedy 25
Ankle boots | Zara
(Item marked * is thoughtfully gifted to me by JORD Wood watches)
Photos kindly taken by the lovely @keith.driscoll!
Best of luck and lots of hugs,